Overload

My first post on Surthriving Motherhood. I have been toying with starting this for over a year now. I have written post for The Art of Home Education, see Older Post, for some time but I’ve never taken the plunge to dedicate a site to us moms. And motherhood is beautiful, but hard.

The last couple of days I have been researching some of the struggles I have with one of our kids. He has meltdowns, which is something different from temper tantrums. He has big motions and don’t know how to deal with them and I am here to help him guide through them. I suspect Sensory Processing troubles. And I suspect Sensory Processing troubles in myself too.

I was just reading this article about Sensory Processing Disorder in Women with ADHD and it resonated with me. Wow, this article was written for me. I always thought that I never learned to filter things out and that it was me. It drives me nuts to hear everything, to see everything, to feel everything. It is too much. And on top of it all, I try to stay calm and it is hard, because all I want to do is scream and it makes me sad. The world is a loud place. The music, the dripping of the faucet, my beautiful kids that never stop making a sound, my loving husband that also never stops talking when he comes home, our sweet dog that never stops wanting to give cuddles, the light, the chirping of birds, the walking of feet, people walking by with the scent of their clean clothes… All these sounds, smells etc. It never stops and I am constantly on overload and hardly anyone understands.

I started with trying to find the silence inside myself and sometimes it works. Slowing down, breathing and just being. Not having to do anything for just a couple of minutes is really nice and relaxing.

For me it is really helpful to understand what is going on. I don’t really need a diagnosis, but I have learned that it is helpful. To have that “aha, that make sense” feeling and to be able to learn more about it. To take charge of my own life because I understand what’s going on.

Coming back to my kiddo. I still haven’t figured out why he has meltdowns. I do know that he has big emotions and that me helping him get through them helps. But I haven’t figured out the why yet.